A Saggy Old Cloth Cat

Whilst spending the weekend with Dr Slim Paul Carbuncle and the Swedish Librarian, on retiring for the night Gobby could hardly squeeze into the spare bed as most of it was already taken up by a saggy old cloth cat,

not to mention Bagpuss.

Mythomania

During a 'pound in the pot' question at pub quiz down The Local the Regulars were somewhat appalled by the distance by which their answers had once again missed the mark.


Indeed, the well-documented bad loser, Tubthumper, was in danger of tripping over his lip on his way to the toilet once the correct answer to how many languages had in excess of a million speakers was announced.


The Regulars took solace, however, in the fact that, although great their inaccuracies, at least their honesty and integrity remained intact. Unlike that of The Local's resident compulsive liar, Tweetie , who then claimed he should have realised it was more than he had originally estimated with him already being fluent in 6 of them.

It can only be hoped that next week's questions include,

"The name of a very strong tendency to tell lies or exaggerate, which may be a symptom of a disorder",

of which they are all only too well aware.

A Prickly Matter

Having felt relatively safe of late whilst running errands in the shopping metropolis of Barton, Gobby was once again perturbed by one of the 'Special Offers' she came across:

The Petrol of Human Kindness

It is refreshing and uplifting to discover on those rare occasions in this day and age and crumbling society that trust, generosity and benevolence still exist and there are those who will cross over the road (literally) to help their fellow man.

Especially refreshing for that particular fellow man, Rick Francis, after reducing the Humber Bridge to a single lane of traffic southbound, being towed away and standing in his shorts during a hailstorm, penniless at the petrol station begging for a fiver's worth of fuel to take him back home to hide his head in shame.

Yet another Barton Lives Sticky Situation

On a no longer avoidable visit to Arkwright's Emporium, on reading a notice on the door:



















Gobby was concerned to see that the door was sticking and seemed to have been doing so since the mid 70s.

However, Mel Smith, (aka Churchill, for his uncanny likeness to our great statesman or jowly car insurance bull terrier - you decide) the proprietor of said glorious establishment soon allayed her fears explaining that it never sticks when customers try to get in, but only if they try to get out again.

Slippery Slope

On a seemingly normal and innocent night predictability failing to win anything at pub quiz down The Local, Gobby realised her fellow team-mates may not be quite as focussed on pondering a question of the intricacies of a monopoly board as she was when, wholly unprovoked, Spudgirl suddenly declared to Tubthumper:

"We need some lubrication because it just ain't working!"

Worse Fates than Immingham Dock

In a bid to encourage Hamish to give his latest place of employment a probation period that wouldn't need recording with a stopwatch the Regulars judiciously pointed out that there were many places of employment worse than the opulence of Immingham dock.

Indeed, should the dark clouds gather once more Hamish should always think of those less fortunate than himself and take solace that he is not a Director of the Iowa Grocery Industry Association.

http://www.iowagrocers.com/boardofdirectors.cfm

(Too) Many Happy Returns

Always supportive and benevolent The Regulars, with a lovingly created birthday card, were delighted to celebrate Tattoo's special day with him.

And previously by the looks of things: