Hungry

The Regulars could scarcely believe that Spudgirl did not take them up on their cheerful friendly advice for her weekly meeting:

"Bored? Try emptying a large bag of Maltesers on the floor at Weight Watchers for a life size game of hungry Hippos!"

Excess

There were rumours that, on a recent beer excursion, one of the Regulars had been guilty of having too much fun.

The only remedy to this was to be sure to invite Tweetie to the next outing.

Earshot

As the Regulars praised Billy Idle on, since purchasing his SatNav, his new found ability to arrive at the correct work destinations within the allotted time (compare Billy Goes to Brum previously) he admitted he had become somewhat proficient in its use and was considering changing its voice to something more appealing.

When Gobby eagerly suggested he could use hers Billy's expression turned to what could only be described as horror-stricken concluding he,

"Couldn't imagine anything worse!"

But, on the other hand, at least if he accidently left it at home he would still be able to hear her.

On the Up

As the female species of the Regulars lamented the males' inability to take items upstairs Billy tried to defend their collective inactions with the excuse that he,

"Never knew if it was on it way up or down."



















Following the angry female chorus of,

"It's ALWAYS on the way up!"

The Sliver Surfer declared,

"I'm glad I'm single."
  
To which Billy reminded him,




"And you've got no stairs!"

Humouring

As Billy Idle and Gobby argued about the merits of a particular comedy show Billy did concede that,

"Out of half an hour's show you might chuckle half a dozen times."

Or, as Spudgirl pointed out, in her case,









"Unlikely."

Special Needs

On a particulalry chilly spring evening the Regulars expressed genuine concern as Tubthumper readied himself for the homeward journey wearing only his customary T-shirt.


Spudgirl excused this reminding them he has 'special needs'.  Which the Regulars did not deny adding:







"Yes, he needs a coat."

A Choice Evening

The Regulars were delighted when Billy Idle and Gobby arrived down the Local one evening when they had hitherto not been expected.

As they sagely explained:



"We fancied an Indian and staying in."





"So we had a pizza and came out."

Hard-hitting

In a moment of reflection down the local Tubthumper explained how he had pondered:



"Why does a frisbee look bigger the closer it gets?"

 "And then it hit me."

Stalled

As Robbin' Get enquired as to how Billy Idle's long tern video digitisation project had progressed in its first year he was not surprised to hear it had stalled somewhat.

Although even the most sceptical would have hoped that Billy could have managed more than his current total of,

"Half of Ben Hur."  

Although he did make some effort to defend himself declaring he:




"Just did Ben - didn't like Hur."

Personal Training

As Spudgirl went on yet another, in the Regulars' eyes wholly unnecessary diet, Billy Idle, human sloth turned self-styled personal trainer, in the bosom of his new found health regime (and for you unbelievers out there, i.e. everyone out there, ask his work colleagues who have been subjected to the frightening scenario of him forcibly encouraging them to turn to herbal tea) reiterated that increased activity and exercise was what was needed ands even went so far as to design a programme tailor made for her:

• Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

• With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

• Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

• Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. 

     

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.