Bon Voyage

Billy Idle was not the most enthusiastic holiday-maker as the 5.30am airport taxi arrived.

He soon perked up, however, when he realised that, in the airport itself, his dream holiday had already begun.

Treats

The Regulars were truly delighted with Hamish's devotion and dedication to his new(est) place of employment that they felt it was time they treated him to something.

They should have been far wiser, however, than to allow him to go to the sweetshop on his own.

On Call

For the first time since records began Hamish felt he may be able to hold down this particular job longer than it took to down a pint.

So much so that the Regulars were stunned as he placed not one but two mobile phones on the table of the Local one Friday evening (and not a fax machine in sight - see July 2006 "The Fax is the Future") lest his new place of employment could not manage without him even on a weekend when lesser men rested.

Imagine how stunned Hamish was when, whilst he irresponsibly left these unattended to respond to a pressing call of a different nature, both appliances burst into action somewhat worryingly calling him into work at 2 different times from two different numbers.

And imagine how gleeful Pocahontas and Spudgirl were as they ran gleefully up the road clutching their respective phones.

Sweet Charity

As Gobby tirelessly reminded The Regulars of her do-good, charitable and giving nature and forced them to look at yet another picture of Duggie the sponsored guide dog on the wall of the Local they were interrupted when, as chance would have it, a fellow do-gooder entered the local collecting for breast cancer.

Ol' Blue Eyes was beside himself with mirth and delight declaring,

"So, if we donate to this as well do we get a photo of a breast this time?!"