As Rick Francis, long absent from the Local embraced Tattoo in a homecoming headlock he was asked to take greater care of his most recent shed roof induced gardening wound.
On observing said scar Rick declared,
"You look just like a money box."
Monday, 24 August 2009
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
Defeated
As Gobby, Spudgirl and Tubthumper ambled to the Local with a hitherto unimaginably more lamentably tardy Billy Idle than prior to his near-death experience they did, for once at least, appreciate the pleasant surroundings during the journey rather than simply propel themselves along the alcoholic path of least resistance.
That was, until, Billy emitted a traumatised howl on finding a dismembered bird's foot on the path.
On rushing to his assistance at the scene of such a heinous crime and on taking him on one side and calming him down the others did, however, have to ascertain that Billy truly had never before in his life seen a fuschia.
That was, until, Billy emitted a traumatised howl on finding a dismembered bird's foot on the path.
On rushing to his assistance at the scene of such a heinous crime and on taking him on one side and calming him down the others did, however, have to ascertain that Billy truly had never before in his life seen a fuschia.
Pumpkinathon
As the prize pumpkins continued to grow and grow speculation increased amongst the Regulars as to who was leading the race.
Handily Tattoo developed a highly sophisticated pumpkin comparison device to accurately assess the competition margins at this stage.
Namely his own somewhat pumpkin-like head:
Handily Tattoo developed a highly sophisticated pumpkin comparison device to accurately assess the competition margins at this stage.
Namely his own somewhat pumpkin-like head:
HD
As Billy Idle drooled over his new High Definition Sky Plus Anytime Anyplace Anywhere TV Tattoo commented to Jordan that he might not make it to the Local that night as he has HD.
Knowing Billy's unerring devotion to the medium of television Jordan was prepared to accept this eventuality until Tattoo cruelly added,
"Heart Disease, that is!"
Knowing Billy's unerring devotion to the medium of television Jordan was prepared to accept this eventuality until Tattoo cruelly added,
"Heart Disease, that is!"
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
Birthday Surprise
As the years relentlessly advanced Gobby reflected on the many birthday treats she had been lucky enough to experience over the years.
However, she could wholly and truthfully concede that, in all the years, none of these could in any way compare to this year's tour of the potato store.
However, she could wholly and truthfully concede that, in all the years, none of these could in any way compare to this year's tour of the potato store.
Black is the New Green
Wholly impressed by Tattoo's conversion to the Good Life throughout the growing season, Gobby couldn't help but display her disappointment on finding him still throwing used teabags in the general waste.
It was only later down the Local that Jordan explained she had helped him improve his recycling potential and, once it had been carefully explained to him that he didn't actually have to open every single used bag emptying its contents in the brown bin before then placing the empty used bags in the blue box, Tattoo was able to improve his green credentials immeasurably.
It was only later down the Local that Jordan explained she had helped him improve his recycling potential and, once it had been carefully explained to him that he didn't actually have to open every single used bag emptying its contents in the brown bin before then placing the empty used bags in the blue box, Tattoo was able to improve his green credentials immeasurably.
Offence
As Ol' Blue Eyes lamented his fist ever speeding fine after a hitherto unblemished record Tattoo told him to look on the bright side pointing out:
"At least you've now got more points this year than Hull FC."
"At least you've now got more points this year than Hull FC."
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