Safety

Gobby was not sure that she and the postman shared the same concept of 'safe place'.

Unceremonious

Whilst admiring the fantastic spectacle of the Olympic Games opening ceremony Gobby's full attention was distracted as she reiterated to Billy Idle for at least the 15th time:

"Just because you haven't heard of them doesn't mean they're 'not a real ****ing country'!"

Dropping a Clanger

After a particularly intense weekend Spudgirl and Tubthumper impressed upon the Regulars the risks and dangers involved in extreme campanology.

The Regulars nodded on collective agreement with Billy Idle concluding:

"You wouldn't want one to fall bell end down."

With Hamish adding,

"And what about your clapper?"

Tip

As the Regulars pondered topics of a random nature down the Local one evening Billy Idle declared:

"I got to 40 years old without knowing antlers have velvet."

Gobby felt compelled to add:

"To be fair, that's just the tip of your iceberg of ignorance."

Retreat

As Spudgirl and Tubthumper shared the details of their forthcoming idyllic retreat to a cottage in the middle of nowhere with no signal or TV reception Gobby declared to Billy Idle,

"That sounds lovely - we could do that!"

To which Billy reminded her,

"Yes, but they get on with each other."

Whilst thriftily adding:

"Let's just stay at home and cut the electric off."

In the Wrong

During a ritual complaint about Billy Idle down the Local Gobby made it clear to the Regulars that she fully understood he had to work away on occasions and had no issue with that.

Her issue came when he was:

"In the wrong hotel for the wrong meeting on the wrong day at the wrong time."

"When did this occur?"  enquired the Regulars.
 
"Tuesday" replied Billy, to which Tattoo clarified,

"Of next week."

Not so Well-suited

As Gobby and Billy Idle prepared for their impending trip (quite timely for them with a week still to go) Gobby returned home to find two spanking new suitcases awaiting her.

Looking them over she confirmed with Billy:

"I take it the one in your favourite shade of blue is yours and the only colour left over for me was bright orange?"

To which Billy explained,

"I was going to get two the same but they'd get muddled up."

To which Gobby felt the need to expound,

"But we'll be staying in the same room."

And didn't entirely concur with Billy's wisdom of:

"That's not the point.  If I lose you I want my own stuff!"

Stig of the Dump

After many recent happy hours spent dumpster diving Gobby lamented the removal of the neighbour's skip wistfully recounting she,

"Watched them take it away."

To which Tattoo felt it only fair to point out,

"She was still in it at the time."