Dark Daze

As, one by one, the Regulars, courtesy of the ever-increasing range at the Local, expanded their love of real ale, on a recent trip away the 'Only Goth in the Village' was delighted to see his reputation had spread throughout the Shire to one of it's famous brewers.

Although he did maintain, despite several bottles, he was not yet 'fully fermented'.

Compact and Bijou

The Regulars appreciated that, for once, there had been no irony intended when Rick Francis had described the size of his new abode and that losing the remote control was not a problem as, if he engaged his reclining chair, he could change channels with his feet.

Indeed, on calling round for a cup of tea Jordan declared it was,

"My turn for the house-warming."

Uplifting

As Ol' Blues extracted himself with protracted difficulty from Billy Idle's sports car he reconsidered whether accepting a lift not preceded by Stannah had been the wisest choice adding,

"Not that I'm religious but I brought my rosary beads."

Hard Landscaping

Whilst complementing Billy Idle on his industrious garden landscaping, Gobby did comment he had snapped a branch off her new plum tree lamenting,

"And it's only got two."

The Regulars, quick as ever to correct her in the error of her ways reminded her,

"it's only got one now."

Shanty

After a day spent delighting in the sounds of the Sea Shanty Festival, albeit somewhat muffled from the interiors of several drinking establishments, the Regulars recounted their experiences on their somewhat worse for wear return to the Local.

Ol' Blue Eyes, not normally capable of distancing himself from his turf accountant on a Saturday but who had clearly made the most of his all-day drinking opportunity declared he had recorded his horses for tomorrow. And as Jordan saw fit to point out,

"Shame you couldn't put your bets on tomorrow as well!"

He also replied to Spudgirl's pub poster observation that 'if you run on the spot for 45 minutes you burn off the calories in half a pint of beer',

"I'll be running till ****ing Tuesday!"

Bienvenido

On Gobby's return from a particularly arduous work trip to the sun and beer soaked Spanish costa Tattoo recounted his own experiences in the area enquiring,

"Did they all have those big ear protectors on when you arrived at Valencia airport?"

To which Billy Idle retorted,

"No, they didn't know she was coming."

Beer Fest

As the Regulars partook of the fun and frolics of the recent Beer Festival down the Local, Rick Francis was wholly unsure of the specific gravity of the beer recommended to him by Gobby declaring.

"I don't go above 3.8."

To which Billy Idle saw fit to point out,

"He's beer drinking not doing the high jump!'



Gobby didn't fare much better as they went on to discuss volume and capacity of bottles as can be cleary seen in Rick and Billy's reply to the following:

"What's normally in a wine bottle?"



"W I N E".

Pumpkin Peril

As autumn approached and Tattoo continued to lavish effort, care and attention on his prized specimens as they began to mature he could only look on in shock and horror as Jordan fell headlong into his pumpkin patch.

Rushing down the zone to check for any injury Tattoo was able to breathe a sigh of relief and texted the Regulars informing them of the potentially serious incident but able to reassure them that,

"Pumpkins are fine."

Some time later, after Tattoo returned to the house for a cup of tea to calm his nerves, Jordan too managed to crawl out of the plot relatively unscathed.