A Hanging Offence

Gobby was particularly proud of her DIY skills in erecting a hanging rail to keep the bedroom tidy.

It would seem, however, that Billy Idle, on the other hand, had not quite yet grasped the concept of how to make best use of this.

Natural Selection

Despite being faced with the evidence and Billy Idle's best protestations, Gobby was not entirely convinced that the Rupies had broken into one of the selection boxes far earlier than permitted completely of their own accord.

Snow Chance

Whilst the Shire had indubitably seen some of the heaviest snowfall in many a year, the Regulars were not entirely convinced by The Dark Lord's alleged sightings:

A Touching Gift

As Billy Idle's birthday loomed and very limited supplies were making it through the Shire due to the snow Gobby was delighted when she happened upon the perfect gift as a token of her affection:

Snow Mean Feat

Gobby was under impressed with Billy Idle as he returned from work after a treacherous two hour trip through a blizzard that had made driving conditions so hazardous it had taken all his skill and concentration to photograph these whilst driving:

 

To make amends Billy promised to build a snow sculpture that would serve to impress her and make the most of the snowbound conditions in the Shire.

Unconvinced at first Gobby decided to give him  the benefit of the doubt as he set to work.

Work was progressing well until, due to a change in temperature, the head fell off leaving Gobby the proud owner of a garden sculpture of a giant snow cock:

However, defying all criticism, there was universal praise of Billy's final Snow Bear masterpiece.

Hair Today...

As Jordan rubbed her eyes in disbelief at seeing Billy Idle conscious and down town before noon Billy explained how his habitual slackness had led to the urgency of not sleeping past Billy Clip the Barber's opening hours for yet another week.

In subsequent discussions down the Local Tattoo declared he might,

"Have his hair dyed."

To which Ol' Blue Eyes pointed out,

"Yours died a long time ago."

Shirty

Gobby was delighted when, one day, Billy Idle took it upon himself to complete some household chores and wash his own T-shirt for once.

She should have realised that her reprieve would be but the briefest when seconds after emptying the wash basket he shouted upstairs room;

"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

Eager to help and educate as ever Gobby began to lead him through  he process asking:

"It depends. What does it say on your shirt?"

And immediately realised all hope of progress was futile on hearing his response of:

"Tottenham Hotspur!"

Coach Trip

The Regulars feared for the safety of the other passengers when Spudgirl announced she and Tubthumper would be taking in the delights of a holiday in Spain via a 2 day coach trip there and back from the Shire.

They breathed a sigh of relief, however, when the very worst to come out of said trip was merely 2 OAPs voted off and a particularly bad limerick:

There were two little old ladies from Kent

Who drove me crackers wherever we went

Rustling food wrappers while eating

And chattering while we were sleeping

I would have killed them if I was of that bent.

Over the Top

Marlene was having a bad day at the office:

Not only did she, through the recession, have more customers than she could serve, but the OAP special was not going down well with the residents of the Shire, most of whom fall into this category.

In exemplary customer relations fashion she declared that everyone over 65 should be shot.

Ol’ Blue Eyes, at a spritely 68 raised his eyebrows.

Seeing where this could lead, Billy Idle, in a valiant effort in trying to diffuse the situation,  proclaimed he could only dream of living long enough to sample the delights of her over 65s menu.

Sore Point

With her fervent desire to save the world and help her fellow man Gobby was delighted to have remembered the forthcoming blood donor session.

Imagine her abject horror in waking up to find her whole head had transformed into a festering cold sore from which no one would ever want a donation.

She was comforted and reassured by the Regulars as ever with Tattoo declaring:

"You could always have gone with a bag over your head."