Return to Sender (please!)

The Regulars sat back stunned at the "one-eyed, one-horned giant purple people eater" descended amongst them down the Local and Gobby admitted to having been remiss in allowing unsupervised internet shopping to occur.

As the Regulars berated Gobby on her lack of supervision Billy Idle did protest that,

"None of you have to wear it."

To which they chorused,

"No, but we have to look at it."

Undeterred by their collective abhorrence and so keen to maximise his most misguided purchase to date Billy Idle further stunned the Regulars by being prepared to forgo his month Farmers' Market porky pie day.

Spudgirl, Fat Club weigh-in guru soon banged him to rights concluding,

"Slimming won't help that."

Struggling for a solution to the retina-burning apparition in their midst Gobby proposed an unfortunate laundry accident but felt.

"The chances of it running are also pretty slim."

As Billy added, particularly so,

"Unless someone else is wearing it!"

Ol' Blue Eyes concluded the debate pronouncing he,

"Wished it would run and jump off the bridge."