Possession

The Regulars were somewhat disappointed to learn that, some years down the line, Hamish's relationship with technology could not be said to have improved.

Springwatch

As Gobby devoted herself fully to creating a beautiful nature garden and a haven for wildlife she realised such activity was not without its challenges:

And, no sooner had this issue seemingly been laid to rest ensued a further nature-related incident:

Perhaps, on reflection , there had been more mentions of Springwatch than deemed wise although Gobby would never have predicted what creature would be the next to meet her in the garden the next morning:

The culprit was finally revealed down the Local, much to Gobby's displeasure.

Screwed

Yet again the Regulars verged on despair on hearing of Hamish's latest romantic foray:



"I've just had a letter back from Screwfix.

They said they regretted to inform me they were not actually a dating agency."

Rail Ale

One Saturday the Regulars set out unnaturally early with an intrepid itinerary pushing the boundaries, literally, to spending a whole day, en masse, out of the Shire.

Some of the above relished it more than others.

As Happy and Grumpy clearly showed:

 Closely followed by most of the rest of the 7 dwarfs - to be matched up as the latest Barton Lives challenge (although as to be expected there wasn't anyone bright enough to be Doc).

All in all despite having roamed far and wide short of being interspersed by one terrifying moment courtesy of a fat ginger version of 'Go Compare' shattering the idyllic peace of a canal-side beer garden a splendid day was had by all.

Poetry

Gobby could only marvel at the understated beauty and hidden depths of a poem penned for her by one of the Regulars:





Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have Alzheimer's
Cheese on toast

Careering

During a recent discussion down the Local, the Regulars briefly pondered as to why they were not, perhaps, setting the world of work on fire unlike others of comparable age and experience.

They were soon relieved of this burden of contemplation, however, when Billy Idle cleverly and succinctly explained this with the use of statistical representation after which they all understood completely and went to the bar.

Pond Dipping

The Regulars were delighted when Hellrunner suggested an idyllic evening's Pond dipping event exploring the natural beauty and wildlife of the Shire.













All except Spudgirl, that is, who startled even the most broad-minded of  Regulars with her reply:

"Thanks for asking but I can't even swim."

Causing the Regulars to wonder with trepidation what pond dipping Essex-style actually entails but being far too scared to ask.

Pipes of Peace

Enjoying the endless variety of the M1 as ever Gobby couldn't help but wonder what the pipes could have done.

Office Junior

Gobby was delighted to see that Billy Idle had learned from his previous work-life balance failings and taken advantage of some extra help in the office.

Scary

Gobby was initially delighted with her new garden gift from Spudgirl and Tubthumper.

 Until they had admitted to purchasing it because of an uncanny similarity.

Not so Green

With hindsight, Gobby realised it had been a mistake to ask Billy Idle to help with the garden.

As the Regulars viewed the Bank Holiday Beer Festival menu with the delight of small children in a sweet shop Gobby inquired of Billy.

"Can I tempt you to a Bogtrotter?"

To which he affectionately replied,

"You're ok; I'm not sure there's room for two of you."

Surprise

As the Regulars anticipated an evening of fun all round they were not disappointed to see, from the look of delight on Tattoo's face, that details of his surprise party had definitely been kept firmly in the bag.

Pulling Teeth

Whilst the Regulars appreciated being given more time to spend down the Local they were not entirely caught up in wedding frenzy over the Bank Holiday.

As Ol' Blue Eyes succinctly put it,

"I'm not saying I'm not looking forward to the wedding but are there any dentists open?"

Marketing

As the Regulars geared themselves for the excitement of the monthly Farmers' Market to hit the town Billy got eccitred about the 'speciality burgers' on offer.

He did however show concern as to not repeat his error of purchsing the one that had not been entirely to his liking declaring,

"I'm not sure how not to order it agian because I can't remember what I've had."

Ol' Blue Eyes came to his rescue with some sage advice adding,

"I had the venision burger - it was a bit dear."

Tasty

As Gobby lamented the closure of a local emporium on her regular route of frugality she voiced true concern as to,

'What would happen to Tasty Mark?'

The Regulars put her mind at rest in reminding her,

'He'll just be Mark, now.'

Fishy

As Gobby's attempt at a sexy pout fell on stony ground down the Local and Tubthumper likened her to a fish, Billy Idle did protest,

"You should see it first thing on a morning - I'll take the fish anytime!"

House!

As Billy Idle set himself up for an intense 'working from home day' Robbin' Get did query as to whether said day would actually consist of accountancy or bingo.

Moonlighting

The Regulars could not help be concerned that if Spudgirl's boss were to find out about her sideline her days would be numbered.

Primitive

After a recent beer outing during which Gobby excelled herself yet again in beer consumption and her inability to control this appropriately led Jordan to compare her once more to an 'amoeba', Gobby was astounded, not by the audacity of one of the Regulars to label her as such a primitive life form, but more that Jordan had been able to correctly spell such an insult.

To which Jordan did have to concede that she,

"Copied it off you on Facebook."

Sandstorm

As Gobby enquired as to whether Tattoo would like to engage in some gardening fun and frolics he replied, much as he could not imagine anything more exciting, he was somewhat occupied as he had to:

"Move a ton of sand Robbin' Get had delivered."

To which Gobby had an inspired idea:

"Just get Tubthumper and Spudgirl round.  They'll move a ton of sand as soon as your back is turned."

Shedloads

As Gobby spent her last ha'penny on her new shed Tattoo gave her some sage advice stating:

"Get a shed like mine, nick next door's."

Which Gobby could only conclude was.

"Truly priceless."

Hungry

The Regulars could scarcely believe that Spudgirl did not take them up on their cheerful friendly advice for her weekly meeting:

"Bored? Try emptying a large bag of Maltesers on the floor at Weight Watchers for a life size game of hungry Hippos!"

Excess

There were rumours that, on a recent beer excursion, one of the Regulars had been guilty of having too much fun.

The only remedy to this was to be sure to invite Tweetie to the next outing.

Earshot

As the Regulars praised Billy Idle on, since purchasing his SatNav, his new found ability to arrive at the correct work destinations within the allotted time (compare Billy Goes to Brum previously) he admitted he had become somewhat proficient in its use and was considering changing its voice to something more appealing.

When Gobby eagerly suggested he could use hers Billy's expression turned to what could only be described as horror-stricken concluding he,

"Couldn't imagine anything worse!"

But, on the other hand, at least if he accidently left it at home he would still be able to hear her.

On the Up

As the female species of the Regulars lamented the males' inability to take items upstairs Billy tried to defend their collective inactions with the excuse that he,

"Never knew if it was on it way up or down."



















Following the angry female chorus of,

"It's ALWAYS on the way up!"

The Sliver Surfer declared,

"I'm glad I'm single."
  
To which Billy reminded him,




"And you've got no stairs!"

Humouring

As Billy Idle and Gobby argued about the merits of a particular comedy show Billy did concede that,

"Out of half an hour's show you might chuckle half a dozen times."

Or, as Spudgirl pointed out, in her case,









"Unlikely."

Special Needs

On a particulalry chilly spring evening the Regulars expressed genuine concern as Tubthumper readied himself for the homeward journey wearing only his customary T-shirt.


Spudgirl excused this reminding them he has 'special needs'.  Which the Regulars did not deny adding:







"Yes, he needs a coat."

A Choice Evening

The Regulars were delighted when Billy Idle and Gobby arrived down the Local one evening when they had hitherto not been expected.

As they sagely explained:



"We fancied an Indian and staying in."





"So we had a pizza and came out."

Hard-hitting

In a moment of reflection down the local Tubthumper explained how he had pondered:



"Why does a frisbee look bigger the closer it gets?"

 "And then it hit me."