Billy's Buttocks

Gobby was not at all pleased to have her homemaking skills called into question on finding a note left for her from Billy Idle closely resembling a begging letter:

Further explanation of Billy's disdain for Gobby's environmentally friendly purchasing of recycled toilet paper ensued, likening the experience to 'wiping his arse on glass'.

Indeed, not content with berating her woeful wifely performance within the home, Billy saw fit to engage the support of The Regulars in the pursuit of a wipe more befitting of his delicate derriere declaring down The Local that:

"The big issue is soft tissue."

Despite her protestations that it was, after all, only for wiping arses, even ones as delicate as Billy's little peach, The Regulars felt that in order to further educate and guide Gobby in her toilet roll selection and purchasing skills that it would be a wise move to equip her with a range of swatches for ease of comparison. Tattoo proved to be particularly helpful in this area by sourcing a first sample suitable for yet another alias 'Beauty Buttocks' from the gents down The Local although possibly not helpful enough as, when he noticed Billy testing said sample (thankfully only on his face) did he see fit to point out that he had never declared specifically where he had found this nor claimed it to be unused.

To put an end to such ridiculous and unnecessary discussion Gobby reminded The Regulars of the true sole purpose of the item in question and on a particularly determined subsequent homemaking shopping excursion made sure that the item puchased did 'exactly what it said on the tin' and would keep everybody happy.