Billy's FINAL Wake-up Call

As the Regulars, not to mention Billy Idle himself came to terms with the fruits of his labours Hamish, somewhat late in the day, having, frugally as ever, conserved mobile phone battery power so as to not resort to the expense of his charger until being able to warm his phone battery in the midday sun enquired after his welfare.

Billy, having by this point made it back from death's door as far as the bed, declared,

"Tell him I'm dead."

Wary of such a dour Scotsman's interpretation of irony Gobby felt it wiser to report the following,

"Rumours of his death have been greatly exaggerated".

To which Hamish did accurately counter,

"Not easy to tell with Billy sometimes."


There was equal consternation at the hospital when Billy's ECG results resembled nothing seen before and a crash team dispatched until the cause of such disquieting readings was discovered.






















As Billy's discharge date loomed, and he and Gobby were given a lengthy sermon on their future lifestyle if indeed they wished this future to see the year out, they were enraptured on hearing the nurse declare,

"No one has ever had a heart attack from drinking beer."

Although Gobby's delight was short-lived on receiving the further piece of information,

"And when he can climb 2 flights of stairs you can have sex again."

Since, as far as she could recall, he had never been able to manage that.