Perfect Storm

The Dark Lord returns with a tale that goes a long way to explain his recent absence:

Perfect Storm

Having recently returned from a Grand Tour of Lancashire, The Dark Lord would like to reflect on the delights of sampling real ale and consider the dangers of mixing conflicting brands.

After rigorously exploring the flavour and brain-damaging potential of Jennings finest, I have yet to decide if the outright winner is the earthy full taste of Jennings Cumberland or the more malty but stronger Snecklifter.

As a diversion, I later sampled some of the areas Manchester brewed Joseph Holt Ale. Please see attached picture.

The name on the bottle: Thunder Holt should perhaps have given me an idea as to how this 5.0 strength ale would affect the human body.

Only available in bottle form, I had a stash ready for testing after leaving the pub.

In retrospect, not a good idea; a Jennings session followed by an unknown ale which, under the name says STORM IN A BOTTLE. . . . .

Well, as they say, the truth is out there.

About thirty minutes later while in a seated position and absently trying to determine the wattage of the toilet cubicles light-bulb, I pondered on the power of this Manchurian beer.

It is a smooth tasting drink which serves well from the bottle, but be warned.

This is not a drink for idle tonsil-washing.

Please let me try to explain.

If the Panama Canal became heavily silted and large ships could no longer pass through, the authorities could either spend huge sums of money on a commercial dredging operation, or simply pour a few bottles of this substance into the waters and wait about half an hour.

It has the power to shift anything!

Our government must ensure that terrorist organisations are not allowed to gain control of this substance.

Just a few cases dropped outside strategic military installations could be devastating.

The next day would dawn with our armed forces disabled and in a recumbent position.

The country would truly be caught with its pants down.

Not to mention the damage caused to aging Victorian sewerage systems. They simply were not built to take that kind of pressure.

Manhole lids the length and breadth of our country would be blown into the air like party poppers.

While experienced Lancashire drinkers may be able to enjoy a controlled amount of this drink, it must be treated with caution by the rest of us.

Under no circumstances mix this drink with any other.

Heed my warning, or face dark consequences. . . .

The Dark Lord

(The only Goth in the village)