Carrotfest

After months of anticipation Judgement Day was finally upon the Shire.





After an arduous morning's harvesting:




















The Regulars wheeled their mighty produce to the judging ground to be joined by several new friends such as The Wurzels plus a 'Kim & Taren' that nobody could actually remember inviting.

 But they all soon became firm friends with welcoming banter along the lines of:

"I love your novelty west-country accent!"

"Thanks, I'm from Bristol."



After anxious final preparation:

The specimens and owners lined up in the show ring:
























And at least one of the Regulars entered into the Carrotfest spirit:

Everyone agreed there were some prize entries to be had:
















Although some could have done with a dose of Miracle-gro.  Or maybe just a miracle.

There was a distinct pride amongst the competitors:

The guest judge was meticulous:

Demanding from Tattoo,

"Can I have your length and girth again, please."

After the intense competition the Regulars had gone to town on carrot-based treats:

Then, with no expense spared, the winners of each category were revealed:

Billy Idle was delighted to win the 'Best Colour' category.

Apparently it was orange.

Despite fierce protestations from Gobby the visiting guest judge declared:

"I can't cope with the vagina so two legs willy and a bum wins."

And finally, Spudgirl was crowned overall winner proving her to really be the Queen of Vegetables.





















Base pagan festivities were to follow long into the night:

Although some festival-goers were less keen to duet than others.

And after a day of unparallelled earthy joyfulness and fun, only a year to wait until:



BEETFEST

Poppycock

After tactile anticipation, disappointingly, the discreetly packaged giant cock ring Gobby believed Billy idle to have ordered turned out to be infinitely less exciting.

Drive Thru

As Billy Idle wistfully lamented, on many occasions, how he missed the hustle and bustle of the city and his fast food weaknesses Gobby was delighted to inform him that a Drive-thru had opened up just near by.





Shire style, of course:

Slimmer of the Year

The Regulars had tried, on several occasions, to tell Spudgirl that she had now lost more than enough weight at Fat Club.

SmackDown

As the competition hotted up between the horticultural of the Regulars Gobby received the following goading text from Tattoo:

"Nice sitting outside eating my tea watching the carrots grow."

Undeterred by this degree of 'carrot smack talk' Gobby countered with:

"By the look on your son's face the other day when he glimpsed my magnificent bounty I don't think I have anything to worry about.

Although she was perhaps not entirely prepared for the response,




"What about the carrots?"