Relativity

On preparing themselves for a 'Come on England' game of rugby, Gobby was struggling to balance keeping warm and supporting the national team.

Billy Idle suggested she wore one of his England tops over the rest of her princess and the pea style layers but had to conclude, even with the additional underlay it was, 'A bit big'.

This would have been an acceptable end to the conversation.  Unfortunately it was followed by,

'Are you really that much smaller than me?!'

A) YES.

B )If only they had ever been to the rugby together before to prove this, should said proof actually be necessary when you live with said small person everyday...

It was, in fact a wonder, after the game, that he could actually recognise this wasn't her:

Morning has Broken

One autumn morning, as Gobby woke to the sound of rain beating on the bedroom window, she was surprised to hear Billy Idle's first words to her of:

'I know you've got loads of shopping to do today. If it keeps raining like this, don't go on your bike, wait until I get home and take the car.'

So much so she did have to wonder: 

'Who are you and what have you done with my husband??!! 😲'

She's Got the Power

As her mother made it unfailingly to yet another birthday, she referred to her arrangements regarding Power of ETERNITY.

And therein lies the sum of all Gobby's fears.

Body Talk

As, for many years, the only programmes Billy Idle (who apparently can't go to sleep 'without the telly', although many long-suffering victims of his snoring would disagree) and Gobby could agree to go to sleep to have all come from the gruesome spectrum of the Crime and Investigation channel, Gobby declared one night during some particularly disturbing mortuary footage:

'I wouldn't talk to your dead body."

Billy did see fit to point out,

'I wish you'd stop talking to the live one!'

Any Dream Will Do

Gobby could only wonder if, after enduring such a dream, any other husbands in the world would then choose to reveal:

'I had a dream last night that I'd shit myself'.

While musing the aforementioned, true disbelief kicked in on hearing the announcement,

'I was really glad I hadn't when I woke up!'

Clean Living

As Gobby returned home from shopping unpacking her overladen bicycle, she cursed to Billy Idle,

'The Jehovah's are coming and they've obviously seen me!'

Billy reassured her saying,

'Don't worry, they've been and I've told them we're not interested.'

Although, as usual, did spoil this statement of support by adding,

'Just tell them you're the cleaner. Oh, then again, they've been.  They'd never believe we've got one of those!'

Lord of the Rings

On seeing Spudgirl and Tubthumper's more than generous 'small' portion of  onion rings on returning to the table, Gobby somewhat rued the fact she had ordered a large portion all for herself.

However, never one to turn down food, should there be any spare no doubt they would soon become 'Tubthumper rings' and, as Spudgirl some what cryptically pointed out,

'And he does!'

Time Had Come

As Billy Idle finally bought a tasteful and practical watch all off his own bat, the time came to bid a sad farewell to the timepiece that had brought them so much joy and fun over the years.

Many an amusing conversation along the lines of,

'What's the date today?'
'17th.'
'What does your watch say it is?'
'8th.'
Oh, and what did it say it was yesterday?'
'23rd'

Sadly the £8.99 Lidl bargain fondly known as the RANDOMISER was to be no more.