Fest (also known as Fake Tim's Adventures in Gobbyland)

Excitement amongst the Regulars (or maybe just for Gobby after she managed a sneak preview inside the tent) had reached fever pitch (no reference to the far less exciting event of the cup final that weekend intended) as one of the highlights in Barton's somewhat sparse social calendar came round again and the Regulars readied themselves for:




















After an initial exploratory foray on the opening night the Regulars prided themselves on their level of sobriety especially considering their observations of others as they left the festival ground for the Local.

For one, they did not skid out of control round the corner into a police car to the words of,
"That wasn't very clever, was it?' although Ol' Blue Eyes did declare his sympathies for young unfortunate in question as, judging by the carnage surrounding the festival cider bar, he must have been,

'The only young lad in Barton that evening not p*ssed out of his head.'

Nor did they, on reaching the Local, suffer the same indignity of another festival goer and were successful in seeing the evening out without vomiting through their fingers.

The enthusiasm for real ale did vary amongst the Regulars with Ol' Blue Eyes pointing out no matter how many beer tokens Gobby saw fit to thrust on Jordan it was still,

"Like pushing a copy of the Watchtower on a non-believer."

The following day, subsequent to a tour of Bennett's Brewery and a pre-festival tipple:









The Regulars convened in the park for their second phase of attack, their numbers swelled somewhat by Dr Slim Carbuncle and the Swedish Librarian plus their offspring and Fake Tim and Never-Buys-a-T-shirt Mike. Anticipation for an afternoon of rioutous gratification was riding high, particularly for Tattoo who was unable to contain his enthusiasm for his once a year indulgence in the 'special lager' on tap habitually resulting in his so-called highly inappropriate "Legs like Douglas Bader" effect.

After a glorious afternoon:


























The Regulars feigned sufficient sobriety to return to the Local where further quantities of 'brave juice' were quaffed, so much so that Tubthumper, in an unprecedented display of boldness and to the utter disbelief of the Regulars, some of whom had already begun to paint themselves white to deflect the blast, dared to defy Spudgirl in insisting on one more for the road and with complete disregard for their following day's 57 point action plan.

Needless to say, such a foolhardy action inevitably saw him banished to the dock.














After the most pleasurable day the Regulars eventually felt it was time to set out home, if only to ensure Gobby did not explode from a terrifying excess of beer consumption.