Mascot

After her initial confidence and enthusiasm in engaging some of the Regulars to help out at a beer festival began to wane somewhat, Gobby did wonder if Scunthorpe & District CAMRA was in fact ready for a new mascot.

Masterchav

Whilst delighted that Billy Idle, who had previously unashamedly declared his favourite restaurant to be Little Chef had taken such a fervent interest in Masterchef, Gobby was somewhat alarmed when, on announcing her departure to the kitchen to prepare their evening repast he countered this with,

"Ok, you've got fifty minutes and concentrate on your presentation!"

Barrow Boy

After searching high and low through the spoils of Gobby's garage, she and Rick Francis emerged semi-triumphant with a lawnmower but no corresponding power lead but, more successfully, with a wheelbarrow to enable Tattoo to transport his giant produce from the zone.
















On returning home from the wood yard Tattoo was clearly delighted that Rick had delivered his 'new toy' offering Gobby wholly unnecessary reimbursement to which, in her mind referring only to the access to the aforementioned zone, she replied:

"Don't be silly, it's a bit old and bent anyway but that's probably a good thing for squeezing up your passage."

And was wholly unprepared for the response,

"Who, Rick?!"

Multitasking

Ol' Blue Eyes never ceased to amaze the Regulars with his talents acquired over his years of experience and his ever-willingness to adapt to the modern age.

Indeed, as he stood up and announced his latest new-age capacity to multi-task the Regulars, not knowing quite what to expect, waited in eager anticipation down the Local could not fail to be impressed by his ability of:










Fag

Pint

Wee

Captain

As Spudgirl and Tubthumper returned from a week's boating holiday Ol' Blue Eyes casually asked,

"Who was captain?"

To which Billy Idle narrowly escaped choking on his pint in spluttering his reply of:

"As if you need to ask!"

However, he was found to warm to the whole canal boat idea on discovering he never need be out of range of his favourite take-away as Mr Gee's Bacon Butty Bar of Barton had clearly become a chain:

Sacrifice

Whilst Gobby partook of one of her favourite distractions in the company of the veteran Regulars propping up the bar of the Local and putting the world to rights, the conversation soon turned to the inevitable of the youth of today not knowing they're born with the conclusion,


"As my parents said, 'We made a lot of sacrifices when you went to university' ".



"And they were right - they're both druids."

Clippers

As Jordan regaled the Regulars with her photos of the send-off of the Round the World Clipper Race she found their ignorance of such events disturbing especially as when she declared that one boat had come from Norway Tattoo was heard to exclaim,

"No wonder it didn't win!"

Moreover, on further explanation, the concept still seemed to elude their grasp and eventually she had to resign herself to the fact that the Regulars had, as found to occur disturbingly often, created an alternative reality befitting of life in the Shire as they concluded,

"They go round the world giving everyone a number 2."