Desperate Measures

After a particularly trying week Spudgirl took emergency measures to make the potato store more bearable.

Shall we Dance?

As Tattoo lamented that, in shaving the few remaining hairs from his once luxuriant head he had inadvertently nicked himself, Ol' Blue Eyes remarked that he had nevertheless done a fine job and it would no doubt have healed up in time for his starring role.

Dark Day

The Regulars noticed the Dark Lord appeared even darker than usual as he was seen lurking in the shadows of Barton on Valentine's Day. The reason for this soon became clear:

"My choice of Valentine present for The Dark Lady has caused a major disappointment here at Gothic Towers.

After considerable time (and some help from the shop assistant) I chose a bag and belt set for The Dark Lady's romantic gift.

Apparently this was not a suitable choice and she has returned it to the shop for a refund.

It appears that I have made an error in judgement:

The bag and belt set which I chose was for a Hoover, but we have a Dyson."

The Dark Lord
(The only Goth in the village)

A Growing Passion

Although difficult to imagine, Gobby believed she had come up with an idea to inject even more excitement into the lives of the Regulars.

She was delighted to find that this loyal trusty band never let anyone down and almost overwhelmed by the intensity of excitement and anticipation with which the 'Giant Pumpkin Growing Competition' was received.

She was albeit slightly perturbed by Ol' Blue eyes' response when asked if he was 'in' of,

"Not on the horses but I've had 4 numbers on the lottery."

In an attempt to reach into Ol' Blue eyes' world Gobby pointed out the competitive nature of such a competition and the possibility of running a book, plus as a retired member of the Regulars, he would surely have the advantage of far more pumpkin tending time but he would not be swayed declaring,

"I can't imagine anything more boring."

To which the Regulars did feel the need to point out he woudn't necessarily be expected to watch the pumpkin for the whole of the growing season and could, on occasions, leave it unattended.

Thought Process

When, down the Local, Billy Idle enquired as to whether Gobby fancied a ticket for the rugby she commented that Spudgirl and Tubthumper might also enjoy the experience.

Billy replied that he,

"Hadn't thought about anyone else".

To which Gobby countered,

"Why change the habit of a lifetime?"

Time for Thought

As the Regulars considered with some foreboding Friday 13th looming on the horizon, Jordan took great delight in pointing out that, on said date, Tattoo would be at the dentist at half past two.

To which Billy Idle could not resist the retort,

"You mean - two thirty!"

A New Vision

Ol' Blue Eyes had been noticeably absent from the Local but, just as the Regulars were on the cusp of concern, it transpired that said absence was due to his puchase of a new television. Moreover he had been unable to leave the house since discovering that he could now effortlessly watch Poirot all day and Morse all night having after the revelation of its having Freeview inside or, in as he put it:

"FREEVIEW INSIDE!

INSIDE THE TELLY!

INSIDE!!!!!"

As the Regulars pondered such uncharacteristic expenditure wondering if, by some divine providence, all of Ol' blue Eyes' choice of horses had, for once romped home he elaborated that,
when watching the snooker and the red balls suddenly turned green then the table turned sideways, he realised he only had one option.

Whilst the Regulars complimented him on what must have been the longest-serving valve-endowed TV in the Shire Ol' Blue Eyes declared he was now just relieved to have one he could lift.

Call it a Day

After a particularly vigorous karaoke rendition of yet another 'novelty song' by Gobby to delight their guests, Ol' Blues Eyes, once recovered, commented that those vitamin pills certainly must be good.



Tattoo, equally stunned, pointed out they were only one-a-day.



To which Jordan replied that was 'one too many'.