Flowing

As Gobby took her organic gardening passion to new extremes and Billy Idle was horrified to find out she had regularly been relieving herself in her watering can in the privacy of her shed and reviled by his consumption of 'pissy veg',  Ol' Blue Eyes declared they should be more concerned as to how she had,


"Managed to get it through all the holes."

Excess

Revelling in the array of guest ales on offer down the Local, Ol' Blue Eyes declared he had been on some particularly good 5.2% the other night.  As the rest of the Regulars enquired as to what this might have been they were not overly surprised to hear he,

"Simply couldn't recall."

In a similar vein, after being unable to join the Regulars one evening due to an impromptu and somewhat messy afternoon session, Gobby apologised for this absence trying to explain this away in that she had,


"Only had one piece of toast."

Ol' Blue Eyes did then see fit to point out,


"It might not have been that that did it but something to do with the 6 pints of bitter on top."

Blame Culture

Trying to blame Gobby for a confectionery theft she flatly denied Billy lamented the loss of his Wispa admitting,







"I was careless."

Form

After a particularly bad run of fortune on Billy Idle's rugby league betting stakes he had to enquire of Tattoo down the Local as to whether he wanted his winnings there and then or after the grand final.


Tattoo benevolently replied that it depended really on whether Billy needed to,


"Spread the cost."

Following this, as Billy went on to bore the Regulars about the origins of rugby and how Webb-Ellis had been the first to pick up the football and run it over the line at Rugby School Ol' Blue Eyes concluded he thought,


"When the other players had caught up with him they got the ball off him and shoved it up his arse to teach him a lesson and that's how it got its shape."

Enlightened

As more and more people 'up their end' saw the light (literally) and installed a roof full of solar panels, Gobby declared she was delighted to not be considered the nutter on the street anymore.



It was as much as the rest of the Regulars could do to smile sympathetically.

Friends are for Life, not just for Harvest Festivals

It almost brought a tear to the Regulars' eyes on realising how well Spudgirl's social skills had advanced thanks to life in the Shire:

Party On

Gobby felt she might have got carried away with invitations for Billy Idle's forthcoming 40th birthday karaoke party and, should all their 'out of Shire' guests actually attend, she would need to call on the goodwill (and spare rooms) of the rest of the Regulars and farm them out, declaring she had for instance now invited God's-Best-Friend-Mike and Never-buys-a-T-shirt-Mike.

Billy assured her it would all work out for the best as, at a karaoke party:



"You can never have too many mikes."

Social Skills

As Gobby commented that one of their former flock had dealt her the ultimate snub by deleting her from a well-known social networking site Billy Idle comfortingly reassured her that such matters were not important and did not reflect the true nature of friendship.

Only spoiling this by adding;



"Not like I'm on Facebook but if I was I'd delete you as well.

Grains of Truth

Gobby could not explain the rogue grains of rice appearing randomly from all nooks and crannies of the kitchen.

Her suspicions were heightened when, on preparing a curry, she found a trip to the emporia of Barton in order to replenish supplies commenting to Billy Idle that she was amazed they were out of rice so soon

She should have known he was always to be relied out for a viable explanation as he calmly replied that there was:




"Loads in the hoover."