Friday 21 June 2013

Half Cut

Gobby had to admit that Hellrunner's 40th birthday must have been a splendid night as she woke up the next morning entirely naked from the waist down but fully clothed, accessorized and made-up from the waist up.

She did, however, take offense to Billy Idle's claims that she,

"Walked home like that".



Mowning

On hearing the words,

"Have you noticed your water butt?"

Gobby's heart sank to her muddy boots as this could only mean another lawnmower-based disaster in her beloved garden.

Indeed, she feared it would be akin to the recent,

"I may have bashed into one of your metal pots and dented it slightly."

Which, after translating from Billy Idle's somewhat sheepish expression and well-known lack of affinity with the truth, Gobby ascertained to be:

"So, what you're saying is, you have definitely bashed into one of my metal pots and dented the shit out of it."

Although this did not surpass the previous:

"Have you mown up my strawberry nets?!"

"Ah, I was going to mention that."

"WHEN??!!  When I noticed and asked, HAVE YOU MOWN UP MY STRAWBERRY NETS??!!?!"



However, Gobby felt the situation could be improved by the introduction of clear garden signage.



















Either that or it is simply time to get a goat.


On Your Bike

Delighted though she was at his level of enthusiasm and fitness on joining the CAMRA branch bike ride, Gobby could only muse as to who had dressed Billy idle that morning and as to for what event, circumstance or scenario such attire could ever be deemed 'appropriate'.



















Moreover, why anyone in possession of their own legs would go for the 'artificial leg' look.


No Sale

Loath to admit it though she was, even Gobby knew there were still some items out there that shouldn't be purchased.

Even at "3 for £1" in Heron:







Collectable

Gobby would always be the first to admit to being severely numerically challenged.  However, during a recent 'shit shop', even she could see the flaw in the collectability challenge:



































Lurve

No matter how inspiring and fulfilling a rare to trip to TKMaxx may be, Gobby didn't feel it could actually convince her to: