Wednesday 3 May 2017

Topping it Off

As outrage possessed the population of Barton-upon-Humber, or those that actually cared one way or another, an action group was formed and leaflets distributed.

On learning the self-chosen acronym for said group, Gobby remembered a life and a time far far away where such a designation could be hugely witty and ironic.

However, after 15 years of living in the, Shire, she was well aware this could never be the case here.
 







Tuesday 2 May 2017

A (hardly!) Perfect Ten

As Gobby reflected, with a certain sense of disbelief on the longevity of her most unlikely of relationships with Billy Idle, she wasn't necessarily expecting the following exchange:

 'It's nearly 10 years. What will you be doing to make it special?'


'I'm leaving!'











Bedfellows

Long overdue a competition, let's see if the Regulars can work out a 'Spot the Difference'.  As in when Gobby gets out of bed and airs it for the day or when that task falls to Billy Idle.


A








B


Bean

Surely never before has a coffee bean felt such disappointment..





Skin Deep

Having struggled to believe at the time, on viewing the said aisle in the Greatest Emporium on Earth, Gobby did concede the way in which her mother may have indeed confused hair conditioner with face cream.



















Although nothing excused the fact that, despite finding the aforementioned 'a bit thick and sticky,' being from Yorkshire she had wasted nor wanted not until the bitter end effectively giving herself a full chemical peel in the process.

Take it Away

Gobby was fully aware of her restrictive nature in controlling Billy Idle's nutritional intake but felt this was counterbalanced by allowing him the odd treat if he had been a good boy.

So, it was quite a revelation to see how much such treats meant to him when she noticed the following on the dining table:








Bluff

Having endured, as previously mentioned 10 years of Billy Idle's proclamation that, in his youth, he had women 'dripping off him', Gobby thought it somewhat vindictively amusing to call his bluff by finding a true likeness of the alleged 'irresistibility' of the time and parading it to Tubthumber and Spudgirl.

Very rarely does such a stunt backfire so spectacularly except on hearing the following:

'Yeah, and I've had everyone on that photo that's not actually one of my sisters'.






Minted

As Billy Idle checked he had sufficient nicotine mints to get him through the weekend, Gobby could see it would seem he was well-prepared for all the fun he anticipated having on a long-avoided visit to distant friends.






Asparagus

As previously documented, after watching innumerable series of Masterchef, Billy Idle considers his culinary talents to be up there with the best of them:

http://barton-lives.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/master-of-none_1.html 


Gobby was, during a recent episode, particularly disappointed as to the accrued level of learning over those years on witnessing him ask:

'So, what flavour is asparagus?'