Eng-er-land

Gobby was delighted when GEO Jen and the Space Cadet came to join them to cheer on Eng-er-land at Billy Idle's world cup barbecue for their first 'dead cert' match against the USA.


She was even more delighted on realising that, without them, the rest of the guests would have inevitably starved to death leading her to wonder quite what she could do in order to get Billy Idle to follow instructions if all her efforts had still been insufficient this time:



She was, however, considerably less delighted with the gifts they had borne as it had been some time since Billy had had his many previous alter egos, (who could forget Studyboy, and Supershag) but thanks to their generosity he had transformed into:







England Clown.





The Regulars were, nonetheless, very impressed with Billy's attempts to give his World Cup barbecue a real authentic flavour of the host nation,

2 vuvuzelas and a token African:









And it was lamentable that the England squad themselves were incapable of emulating such effort in their performance.

Much fun was had both watching the game:


































and later down the Local where Rick Francis expressed his admiration for GEO Jen and the Space Cadet's lifelong love and devotion when on hearing they were approaching their 20 year anniversary, he was heard to declare,

"I've had 3 wives in that time!"

but on learning they had been married for a mere 13 of these he did reduce his estimate to:

"That's only 2 wives then."



After a fabulous beer-fuelled evening, somewhat predictably, little remained of England Clown the morning after:

Perfect Storm

The Dark Lord returns with a tale that goes a long way to explain his recent absence:

Perfect Storm

Having recently returned from a Grand Tour of Lancashire, The Dark Lord would like to reflect on the delights of sampling real ale and consider the dangers of mixing conflicting brands.

After rigorously exploring the flavour and brain-damaging potential of Jennings finest, I have yet to decide if the outright winner is the earthy full taste of Jennings Cumberland or the more malty but stronger Snecklifter.

As a diversion, I later sampled some of the areas Manchester brewed Joseph Holt Ale. Please see attached picture.

The name on the bottle: Thunder Holt should perhaps have given me an idea as to how this 5.0 strength ale would affect the human body.

Only available in bottle form, I had a stash ready for testing after leaving the pub.

In retrospect, not a good idea; a Jennings session followed by an unknown ale which, under the name says STORM IN A BOTTLE. . . . .

Well, as they say, the truth is out there.

About thirty minutes later while in a seated position and absently trying to determine the wattage of the toilet cubicles light-bulb, I pondered on the power of this Manchurian beer.

It is a smooth tasting drink which serves well from the bottle, but be warned.

This is not a drink for idle tonsil-washing.

Please let me try to explain.

If the Panama Canal became heavily silted and large ships could no longer pass through, the authorities could either spend huge sums of money on a commercial dredging operation, or simply pour a few bottles of this substance into the waters and wait about half an hour.

It has the power to shift anything!

Our government must ensure that terrorist organisations are not allowed to gain control of this substance.

Just a few cases dropped outside strategic military installations could be devastating.

The next day would dawn with our armed forces disabled and in a recumbent position.

The country would truly be caught with its pants down.

Not to mention the damage caused to aging Victorian sewerage systems. They simply were not built to take that kind of pressure.

Manhole lids the length and breadth of our country would be blown into the air like party poppers.

While experienced Lancashire drinkers may be able to enjoy a controlled amount of this drink, it must be treated with caution by the rest of us.

Under no circumstances mix this drink with any other.

Heed my warning, or face dark consequences. . . .

The Dark Lord

(The only Goth in the village)

Ingrained

On being made aware of how deep-rooted Hamish's social Tourettes truly was the Regulars had to realise they may never be able to help him truly overcome it:

Festival

At first glance, to the uninitiated, it could be mistaken that the Regulars has set out for a healthy weekend's hike:





















But only when a beer tent was in sight:















Unlike at a recent festival Tubthumper was caught by surprise in an unexpected food-sharing moment.




















There was delight as reinforcements arrived, albeit of a slightly dubious nature.





















Although the child-minding facilities did leave something to be desired.


























Whilst some took the beer selection very seriously,





















Others took more delight on learning the junk food outlook had opened:
















And try as he might Tubthumper was simply not able to emulate the level of dourness perfected over years of misanthropy:




















Some of the Regulars had to be disciplined during the proceedings:























And others, no matter how exhausted and inebriated from hours of quaffing were determined not to miss a thing:




















Disturbingly, as the evening wore on it would seem the brewery tour effects on one of the members may be proving permanent:














But all in all another fabulous Barton Beer Festival had by all.

Bennett's Brewery

After unbearable anticipation the Regulars were finally summoned to the much anticipated 'Bennett's Brewery tour':

"For those of your party wishing to visit the brewery this afternoon, could you please assemble at the main door for a meet and greet from the MD?"

With great excitement they lined up as the brewery opened its doors:















Shortly afterwards Blind Pew arrived:




















And at some point during the proceedings the door must have been left ajar and a roaming hippy wandered in. Hell Runner and Tufty less than impressed.















There was supposition that the brewer had already been sampling some of his wares prior to the deputation.






















For the visually impaired a multi-sensory experience was on offer and Bennett's brewery was commended for its anti-discrimination policy:

























The brewery was delighted to be able to offer an enhanced experience this year including an
additional rage from a guest brewer:




















Who was noticeably pleased with guests' appreciation.














Some brews had noticeably immediate effects:




















After an excellent tour a presentation was made from a distinguished visiting CAMRA LIFE MEMBER.














Although, at the end of the tour, some visitors were observed to take somewhat more advantage of the Gift Shop on their way out than was usually deemed acceptable: