A Guiding Light

It would seem neither Hamish's taste in decorations nor his long-documented relations with this neighbours had improved since last Christmas.

Surprise!

Spudgirl excelled herself in pulling off the surprise party of the year.

Needless to say the ever observant Tubthumper had been none the wiser.

The buffet and cake went down a treat.

And, for once, Tubthumper was not the only one to overindulge.

Meanwhile, the Regulars were stunned by Spudgirl's public display of warmth and friendliness.

And despite Bernie's refusal to tell her renowned vagina joke...

The evening was deigned a resounding success.

Deliverance

After a seemingly endless wait Gobby and Billy Idle were extremely relieved when their Chinese takeaway finally arrived.

That said, they did feel they could appreciate how the delay had ensued.

Ropey

Gobby was very impressed when Billy Idle informed her he had once tried his hand at "rope-walking."

Her disappointment was complete when, on enquiring further Billy realised the error of his words and had, in fact, once had a dabble in,

"Line dancing."

Smarting

Whilst Gobby lamented having the least smart phone of all the Regulars down the Local, Tubthumper expressed a liking for the new 'JCB phone'.

To which Ol' Blue Eyes declared he also could "really dig that!"

Impulse

Occasionally, Gobby had to admit, that not categorically every wondrous item  she bought from the mecca of Lidl was always the best idea and bargain that it seemed at the time of purchase.

Upstairs Downstairs

On the Regulars being subjected to one of Hamish's particularly lengthy and colourful rants regarding relations with his neighbours, Tattoo did feel the need to ask,

"Are you paranoid?"


Leading to the immediate response of,


"Who told you that?!"

Up the Wall

As Gobby and Billy Idle observed the following from the comfort of their King Size bed, bought especially for their family of Rupert Bears, they realised they had perhaps over-indulged them somewhat and that, without serious intervention, they may not grow up to be as intrepid as their recently observed Welsh cousin.

Compare and contrast:

Gardener's World

In a rare moment of fondness Billy Idle declared he,

"Really likes where we live now and the garden is much better for Gobby"

To which Ol' blue Eyes did remind him,

"Yes, but you don't have to leave her out all night!"

Spiked

Billy Idle found it very touching that, since the demise of his (allegedly) beloved cactus, (see A Prickly Subject) Hamish had searched far and wide for a suitable replacement.

Bugger

As the Regulars enquired as to the Tubthumper's new job he expressed deep concern over one of his new colleagues declaring:

"He's an MRSA carrier".

Leading Billy to enquire,

"Has he got it in a bag?"