Tuesday 25 May 2010
Product Placement
As Tubthumper ate his way through yet another social gathering at least he could be seen to be wholeheartedly supporting local produce:
Hair today Gone Tomorrow
Much as they always like to encourage initiative and innovation, so lacking in the Shire, the Regulars could not help but be sceptical as to whether Tattoo really had sufficient knowledge and experience to take on his new business venture:
Investors in People
On seeing Spudgirl's recent holiday snaps the Regulars began to have serious second thoughts about having agreed to join her on her next vacation:
A Moving Experience
There had been little reported from the Shire of late, mainly due to the telecommunications switchover resting in the hands of Billy Idle for some time but, finally, Billy and Gobby's move was complete and they were back in touch with reality and the modern world, or as much of this as exists therein as one of Gobby's colleagues saw fit to point out:
"Did a mole chew through the one fibre optic cable into the shire?"
Indeed, during the process, on trying to contact Billy Idle from work to check on his DIY progress to no avail, Rick Francis's attempts to reassure Gobby that all was well could not have been more misfounded:
"He'll be trying out the new bed."
"Let's hope not as he has got Immelda there with him and they are supposed to be wall-papering!"
Billy's DIY to do list showed little sign of improvement when, on returning late from work to join the Regulars down the Local Gobby inquired as to whether Billy had completed his one task of putting up the washing line.
Quick to retort Billy explained that obviously he had carried out her instruction to the letter, however, no sooner was it erected then the incumbent squirrels had brought it down.
On viewing her scepticism Billy went on to explain:
"They are really clever animals. It was amazing how they also managed to take down the new washing line, roll it back up and get in back in the packet and inside the house as if it had never been touched."
It would seem that Gobby's well-tended pot plants had also not fared well whilst left in Rick's tender care. On seeing the demise of her treasured bamboo Rick had to admit things were not looking good for the Barton Panda who had been seen roaming Baysgarth Park looking for an alternative food source:
Gobby added,
"Had I not rushed in to save my eucalyptus it wouldn't be looking too rosy for the Barton koala either"
Indeed Rick had a lot to answer for during the proceedings when, on running short of supplies prior to Gobby's restocking shopping trip, Billy declared that, after helping Rick move his fridge-freezer they too should have a 'healthy' supply of pies and pasties to hand like Rick.
On pointing out that Rick was not in danger of a pastry induced heart attack even she, hardened as she was to Billy's claims wholly unfounded in any truth or logic known to man, was taken aback by Billy's declaration that,
"HEART ATTACKS AREN'T BAD FOR YOU!!"
Notwithstanding, some retribution was forthcoming when, not content with his winter escapade of losing his front tooth in the snow, Rick Francis's first adventure on moving house was to immediately spit this into the white pea gravel as an additional challenge.
Thereafter, Gobby had hoped that, once installed, an aura of calm would be restored but, this was clearly not to be when, at the moving in karaoke party, after a heartfelt rendition by the Regulars of "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles", Spudgirl realised she had done more than enough in helping with the settling in process in encouraging Gobby to put washing up liquid in her new dishwasher.
Meanwhile, as Billy gave Hamish a tour of their new abode pointing out that they would try putting the Wii online Hamish agreed this would make a pleasant change from Gobby's usual practice of doing it on the floor.
As routine finally returned and Billy Idle set off for work, imagine Gobby's delight when, on having to return home for a forgotten item, he informed her he had left her a present on the coffee table. Possibly slightly premature in celebrating such a rare occurrence Gobby should have preconsidered the limitations of an item bought at the local petrol station at seven in the morning and, on retrieving said present, to the equal delight of their new neighbours, Gobby could not help but show Billy her gratitude for such thoughtfulness of two matching England shirts by standing on their front doorstep in her dressing gown with one of the tasteful items in each hand yelling 'Chav!' at the top of her voice as he pulled off.
As she later confided to Robbin' Get that she felt they were going down well in the neighbourhood he did have to break it to her that they were more simply,
"Just bringing the neighbourhood down."
However, it would seem that all had gone well with Billy Idle suitably settled in his new abode ready to take on whatever this new chapter of his life had had to throw at him.
"Did a mole chew through the one fibre optic cable into the shire?"
Indeed, during the process, on trying to contact Billy Idle from work to check on his DIY progress to no avail, Rick Francis's attempts to reassure Gobby that all was well could not have been more misfounded:
"He'll be trying out the new bed."
"Let's hope not as he has got Immelda there with him and they are supposed to be wall-papering!"
Billy's DIY to do list showed little sign of improvement when, on returning late from work to join the Regulars down the Local Gobby inquired as to whether Billy had completed his one task of putting up the washing line.
Quick to retort Billy explained that obviously he had carried out her instruction to the letter, however, no sooner was it erected then the incumbent squirrels had brought it down.
On viewing her scepticism Billy went on to explain:
"They are really clever animals. It was amazing how they also managed to take down the new washing line, roll it back up and get in back in the packet and inside the house as if it had never been touched."
It would seem that Gobby's well-tended pot plants had also not fared well whilst left in Rick's tender care. On seeing the demise of her treasured bamboo Rick had to admit things were not looking good for the Barton Panda who had been seen roaming Baysgarth Park looking for an alternative food source:
Gobby added,
"Had I not rushed in to save my eucalyptus it wouldn't be looking too rosy for the Barton koala either"
Indeed Rick had a lot to answer for during the proceedings when, on running short of supplies prior to Gobby's restocking shopping trip, Billy declared that, after helping Rick move his fridge-freezer they too should have a 'healthy' supply of pies and pasties to hand like Rick.
On pointing out that Rick was not in danger of a pastry induced heart attack even she, hardened as she was to Billy's claims wholly unfounded in any truth or logic known to man, was taken aback by Billy's declaration that,
"HEART ATTACKS AREN'T BAD FOR YOU!!"
Notwithstanding, some retribution was forthcoming when, not content with his winter escapade of losing his front tooth in the snow, Rick Francis's first adventure on moving house was to immediately spit this into the white pea gravel as an additional challenge.
Thereafter, Gobby had hoped that, once installed, an aura of calm would be restored but, this was clearly not to be when, at the moving in karaoke party, after a heartfelt rendition by the Regulars of "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles", Spudgirl realised she had done more than enough in helping with the settling in process in encouraging Gobby to put washing up liquid in her new dishwasher.
Meanwhile, as Billy gave Hamish a tour of their new abode pointing out that they would try putting the Wii online Hamish agreed this would make a pleasant change from Gobby's usual practice of doing it on the floor.
As routine finally returned and Billy Idle set off for work, imagine Gobby's delight when, on having to return home for a forgotten item, he informed her he had left her a present on the coffee table. Possibly slightly premature in celebrating such a rare occurrence Gobby should have preconsidered the limitations of an item bought at the local petrol station at seven in the morning and, on retrieving said present, to the equal delight of their new neighbours, Gobby could not help but show Billy her gratitude for such thoughtfulness of two matching England shirts by standing on their front doorstep in her dressing gown with one of the tasteful items in each hand yelling 'Chav!' at the top of her voice as he pulled off.
As she later confided to Robbin' Get that she felt they were going down well in the neighbourhood he did have to break it to her that they were more simply,
"Just bringing the neighbourhood down."
However, it would seem that all had gone well with Billy Idle suitably settled in his new abode ready to take on whatever this new chapter of his life had had to throw at him.
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