Homework

Somehow it didn't seem Billy Idle's 'work from home' day was going to be one of the worst of his life.

Eco-lazy

Gobby was delighted to observe, after 5 years of training, that Billy Idle could now at least identify the kitchen recycling receptacle.

Almost there...

All Change

Gobby was horrified when Billy Idle, who, quoted in declaring hygiene to be 'overrated' informed her:

"The bathroom towel needs changing."

On realising that if the Human Sloth himself had noticed this oversight then it was probably all too late and they were likely to be infected from a super bug from which they were may never recover -

Gobby rushed to replace and boil said offending item then, on regaining some composure she did make it plain that, God forbid such a lapse may reoccur in the future, but even Billy was endowed with all the faculties necessary to:


CHANGE IT HIMSELF.

A Man's Best Friend

On realising they had not seen a great deal of Hamish of late the Regulars were reassured to hear this was merely as he was busy training his new pet.

Whom he has apparently named 'Dick'.

Dragon

Gobby bounded into the pub delighted to see the old-time Regulars at the bar with whom to share her insatiable enthusiasm for beer and life.

On regaining their composure and recovering from the initial welcoming blast they commented that she seemed happy as ever, although, apparently, as the conversation ensued:

"Not as happy as Billy was last weekend..."

Which Gobby quickly deciphered to mean,


 "What - when I was in Wales?!"

Romance-ability

As Billy Idle braced the weather for his constitutional and hopefully life-expectancy-extending lunch hour daily walk around the lake he reported to the Regulars that weekend on his fellow walkers or, in this case, rollers, as he experienced the beauty of Motorbility Scooter Love before his very eyes.












Ol' Blue Eyes was clearly overcome by emotion as he declared:


"I'd have pushed the ******* in!"

Short Shrift

Whilst Gobby sulked in vain over her short measure pint and the distinct unlikelihood that Billy Idle would get it topped up for her he dismissed any doubt in her mind declaring:


"You don't get a figure like this making unnecessary trips to the bar!"

Cuts

Gobby mused gloomily over her soon to be parlous financial state but reflected that she could at least afford one more pay day trip to the hairdressers.

On hearing this the Regulars saw fit to point out she:

"Won't need to think about that soon."

To which Billy Idle, firmly grasping somewhere along the wrong end of the stick enquired:

"Why - is she going bald?!"



Which caused further debate with Ol' Blue Eyes concluding to Tattoo that he had'

"More up my nostrils than you've got on your head!"

Little Death

The Regulars were concerned enough as to how to break the news to Billy Idle of the demise of his favourite 'restaurant'.


http://www.thisisscunthorpe.co.uk/jobs-Little-Chef-shuts-doors/story-15109874-detail/story.html


But moreover wondered if he would truly be able to cope driving past the tragic ruins each day to and from work.

In the Flesh

As Gobby wandered the hallowed halls of work for one of the last times she inevitably took far more notice of what was to be appreciated there than at any time in the previous seven years.

Which, on admiring the sporting institutional talent on display, did cause her to ask herself:

"How wrong is this?"