"I've just had a letter back from Screwfix.
They said they regretted to inform me they were not actually a dating agency."
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Welcome to the inconceivably mundane lives of a group of social misfits thrown together in the godforsaken potato shire by circumstance, necessity and previous errors of judgment in life. Be aware that every episode of Barton Lives, worryingly, genuinely did occur. Just about.
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