A Prickly Subject

Feeling it was safe to admit her mistake, many moons after she had committed this and with it remaining unnoticed, (and in need of a further plant pot now that spring had sprung), Gobby confessed that Billy Idle's (beloved) leaving present cactus had not actually successfully made it through the harsh winter of 2010 and that what actually now languished in said pot in the conservatory was a mere fossilised effigy of a former member of the plant family cactaceae.

After allowing more than sufficient time for lamentation, protestation and castigation, and as Gobby began to tire of all of the aforementioned, she did highlight that Billy had not checked on nor noticed the demise of said cactus for two years.  Ever supportive, the Regulars suggested to Billy that, moreover, these had been 'happy years'.

To which he retorted,

"Not for the cactus!"

And when the further helpful suggestion that, in an attempt to revive the relic it could be placed in the oven as it is, 'Always warm in there' was met with,

"Not in our house."

The hitherto deferred but inevitable physical violence did ensue.