Not surprisingly the title does not allude to the likelihood of any of the regulars deciding to 'come out' but to an attempt to reverse years of abuse and reckless abandon.
Not content with academic prowess and mental pefection, Billy Idle decided to move onto a physical challenge and change the habit of a lifetime (an over-used cliche, granted, but in this case worryingly truthful) and give up smoking.
So far it has only taken hypnotism, a plastic pretend cigarette, patches, extra strong mints and aniseed balls (alarmingly sometimes all at once) to reach dizzy heights of abstention. Perhaps were he to add wiillpower to the aforementioned then there may be a greater likelihood of success but it is early days.
The Regulars are obviously truly keen to help Billy in his mission, especially after he began to quote from his many self-help leaflets that his friends should be there to "share in his success", so much so that some of them have even made an effort not to always blow their smoke in his direction. Indeed, Hamish did also insinuate he too might consider quitting but for no other reason than he is a tight-arsed Scotsman lamenting the demise of Duty Free.
At work, Buyergirl has been intrinsic in Billy's efforts by hiding his fags (or at least moving them a short distance from his desk just far enough for him to be incapable of the effort needed to retrieve them).
Should this not prove to be an unmitigated success per se, he has a further life-changing plan of combining healthy eating, exercise and giving up smoking as, in his own words, he is bound to fail at at least one but the final outcome will still be an improvement.
Who knows where his success could lead...?
Surreal Shopping
On a recent shopping trip in the metropolis of Barton, Gobby began to wonder if it is not only The Local that exists in a surreal parallel universe...
Extreme DIY
Rick Francis impressed The Regulars with his daring tales of extreme DIY:
"I am the ultimate DIYer, not only do I throw the instructions away beforestarting the job, but I have convinced Pocahontas that she has now got a uniquepiece of furniture. No other wardrobe has been built, that can be classedas functional, whilst not having a single piece of wood in the correctplace. My next project will be to rebuild my motorbike using the sametechnique."
If he lives to tell the tale...
Monday's Challenge
As The Regulars sat down to a busy Monday morning at work catching up with emails Sven had sent another request for a fellow European colleague:
Have got question from German colleague regarding a song of which hewould like to know group and/or title (he must like it pretty old song,anyway it goes a bit like this):"we have fun, we have joy, we have seasons in the sun....". Can anyone help out.As Billy Idle was quick (surprising for him in any context) to point out,
"The clue is in the question".
Sven's colleague was delighted with this (and as we have all learned from past experience and history lessons in school it's always good to keep the Germans smiling) and The Regulars breathed a sigh of relief as this one proved not to turn into a Tim Tam slam :D
No comments:
Post a Comment