September 2006

Advanced Technology takes a further leap forward
It would appear that Hamish's woeful lack of understanding and failure to cope with the modern world may not be entirely due to sheer ignorance and stupidity alone but genetic influence could also be a contributing factor:
Just the other week Hamish received a call (via the operator on his bakelite phone) from his sister, Morag.
It would seem that Morag, inspired by Hamish's attempts to embrace the future, did not wish for him to cling alone to the Information Super Highway like a lone barnacle in the raging sea of progress and had made a valiant attempt to join him:
Morag, on finding the local post office and indeed pawnbrokers closed at 7.00pm had been left with the difficult choice of prostitution, (which it has to be said is an underdeveloped occupation on the streets of Barton) or using an ATM for the first time.
Filled with foreboding Morag made her best attempt but the whole experience had left her in need of some counselling.
Hamish duly reassured her that inserting her card in the slot had been the correct first step,
that entering a PIN number had indeed been the correct thing to do next
that it did not matter if she had not received a receipt unless she had, in fact requested to do so,
and, indeed that receiving the correct amount of money she had requested could only be described as the desired and successful outcome of endeavouring to use an ATM in the first place.
In fact, it could be said that Hamish was somewhat at a loss as to why Morag, in some panic had called him in the first place as it would appear she had surpassed all expectations in virgin ATM use.
However it all became blindingly clear when, between sobs, she managed to confess to him her distress at hot having turned it off afterwards.