February 2006

Substance Abuse
After committing the cardinal sin of daring to visit an ALTERNATIVE DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT prior to The Local Gobby thought she had got away with this unnoticed by quietly propping up the bar whilst Sven regaled The Regulars with his latest tales of his daring scrapes overseas in the cut-throat world of international IT support. Sadly, at pub quiz, Billy Idle informed her the give-away had been when, instead of drinking a pint of the finest elixir she had been caught trying to inhale it and would likely have come to a sticky, beery end had Jordan not rescued her by the hair.


The Week Ahead
What could happen in the week ahead in Barton Lives? Will more than one of the three toilets in the ladies have a bulb in it? Who know? Only fate can decide...


The Dangers of Drink
After a particularly heavy night down The Local, Rick Francis felt the need to text the other Regulars this advice the next day:
"Read an article the other day about the dangers of heavy drinking, really frightened me. So starting tomorrow I'm going to stop reading."

Late shift
Last night the usually stunning Morticia entered The Local after a very late shift wearing a fluorescent vest and hard hat. The Regulars found it hard to contain their disappointment on finding that she was not, in fact accompanied by the rest of the Village People.

Barton Lives - Introduction
This is the home of BARTON LIVES, quite likely the only internet soap opera in the metropolis of Barton-upon-Humber. All stories and events that follow are truthful and have happened. Names have been changed to hide the cast's identities and also they don't know we are doing this. So sit back and enjoy the only internet soap opera that is based on the events of a real life local pub....